Communication Skills Tip: Positively Positive

In Lanartco’s tip of the week April 1, 2009, I speak about providing positive solutions for our senior leaders. I want to talk more about positivity in today's blog post. When I was in my early twenties, I remember a good friend of mine giving me the book You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought. Peter McWilliams and John-Roger's book outlines the power of our thoughts and underlines how negative thinking can adversely affect our mind, our emotions and our bodies. If negative thinking begets negative results, then wouldn't it be safe to assume that positive thoughts generate positive outcomes? In the current state of our global economy, I know that I can't afford to focus on the negative. It may be shocking to think that someone like me, an educated entrepreneur, is staying away from constant exposure to the media. While it's true it is helpful for me to be aware of the spiral of the week, I certainly don't need to hear the same information spun 100 different ways on 100 different news programs. Despite the fact that my business has taken a hit, I feel incredibly optimistic. My team and I have generated more new leads in the first quarter of this year than we have over the last couple of years combined. I attribute my optimism to the fact that I do not stay mired in the minutiae of negative news or negative thinking. So, how can you stay positive? You start by making the choice to be positive. And for many, that first step is the hardest. Then, a couple of ideas that have worked for me include: exercise to rid the brain of random thoughts; eat whole foods to fuel your body properly; go for plenty of walks to stimulate thinking; and engage yourself in creative activities such as painting, gardening, listening to music, or even making a vision board from magazine cut-outs. Remember you can't afford the luxury of a negative thought. And better yet, your positively positive attitude will lead you to the next big idea. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

American English: Which one do you speak?

I was recently asked what kind of American English I speak. Huh? The choices were:

1. General American English
2. Yankee
3. Dixie
4. Mid Western
5. Upper Midwestern

I was then faced with three questions: What is Yankee English,what is Dixie English, and what about the west coast? I guessed New England English for the first, and I was right. But I had never heard the term Dixie English. After some research, I found that Dixie English refers to a region, within the United States, that is made up of the eleven Southern States that seceded to form the Confederate States of America. So, Dixie English refers to English spoken in, what we consider to be, the traditional South of the United States. In the following weeks, I will outline the characteristics of each of these different kinds of American English and search for the term (or maybe even coin the term?) for west coast English. What type of American English do you speak?

Communication Skills Tip: Face Your Expressions

In Lanartco’s tip of the week March 25, 2009, I spoke about facial expressions. I have been asked by many of my coaching clients, “How can I keep a poker face during my communication?” This is fascinating to me because it sounds like they want to acquire a stone-like expression in order to play the corporate communication game well. I would like to take a slightly different angle on the notion of playing the corporate communication game. In Daniel Goleman’s foreword of Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee’s book, Resonant Leader, he talks about how important it is for your emotions to be aligned with your goals in order to keep your composure. And I think that if you are deeply rooted in the purpose behind each communiqué, your face will tell the story you want it to tell. The question is: How do you find your purpose? It reminds me of my acting days when we had to choose objectives for each action in every scene our character played. Sometimes this seemed cumbersome—in EVERY scene we had to know the reasoning behind our emotion. We couldn’t just play anger or play delusion or play passion. We couldn’t just step onto the stage and wing it. We had to understand the underpinnings of the character’s motives. And I can tell you that even with all the time it took to get into character, without crisp objectives, my acting work was limited. What this means to you is that you must take the extra time to know your goal for each and every communication. When you do, you can expect that all of your facial movements will be empowered and supported by your intentions. This will help you be appropriately expressive and appropriately neutral and as Goleman says, "It will help you maintain your composure." To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Communication Skills Tip: Dial 6 for Volume

In Lanartco’s tip of the week March 18, 2009, I advised you all on the essentials of volume. I want to say more about this simple yet relevant tool. I remember in my acting training we spent a lot of time getting used to the sound of our own voice and that included comfort with the volume we used. I remember directors saying things like: “Your voice has to reach the people sitting in the last row of the theatre folks,” or “Just because your character is whispering in this scene, doesn’t mean you are actually whispering—stage whisper please.” I think many of us associate loud speakers with obnoxious behavior while we associate soft speakers with people who lack confidence. When it comes to finding the right volume for your communication, you need to experiment. Try taking six very simple words that you can repeat over and over at a variety of volumes. Prompt yourself ahead of time by writing down the directions for the volume levels. And example might be: 1. say these six words as quietly as you can, 2. twice as loud, 3. as loud as you can, 4. across the street, 5. half as loud, etc. Of course you’ll want to do this in a private location, but find the right place where you can really explore your voice. You will feel more creative when you are communicating. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Bilingualism: A Reality In Today's Workforce

Bilingualism in the workplace is a reality. Today, there are many more international professionals in New York City than ever before. Local businesses are doing business overseas and international businesses are making our city their own. Barack Obama says that Americans should strive to learn a foreign language. Giuliani responded by stating that Obama "reinforces Anti-American feelings". When you go to work tomorrow, take a look at the people who make up your team. What would that picture look like without them? How does that picture look with them? Where do you fit in? Chances are that on your way to work today you heard more than one language—that is, if sound wasn't completely drowned out by your ipod. How many of those languages you heard did you understand? One, two, or more? How many times have you wished you knew what language was being spoken? And of those times, how many did you wish you could actually communicate in? Think about it. Then try it.

Communication Skills Tip: Punctuating Your Speech Through Pausing

In Lanartco's tip of the week March 11, 2009, I talked briefly about pausing as a way of accentuating the punctuation in your speech. I want to say more about this because many of you may never have thought of pausing in quite this way. Think about all the times you have heard someone speak ineffectively (a presentation from your colleague, a long-winded voicemail from your direct report, or even a conversation with your best friend) because they used fillers, ran one sentence into the next, or never brought their pitch down at the end of their sentence to indicate they were done talking. Have you ever felt frustrated listening to these types of speakers? Now think about a well-written piece of writing you have recently read. You probably didn’t notice the punctuation because the writing flowed so well. It is precisely this type of experience that we want our audience to have when they are listening to us speak. We don’t want them to focus on the way we are speaking. We simply want them to receive a great communication. And in order for this to happen, we have to put the commas, semi-colons, dashes and periods into our speech so that our readers can follow our messages fluently. And the best way I know how to tell you to practice this is to take a good piece of writing and read it aloud. Ask yourself the value of a comma, semi-colon and period and allow each pause to vary in length based on the value you give it. Sometimes, just having this idea in your head can change the way you use pauses and eliminate all those awkward fillers and inappropriate pacing you might use when you talk. If you’ve never listened to Suze Orman, our modern day financial guru, take a couple of minutes to indulge her because she is one of the masters of this skill (personally I like her earlier speeches because they are a little less intense.) Using pauses in your speech is one of the easiest ways a person can increase their vocal effectiveness. Try it. I think you’ll like it. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Communication Skills Tip: Emphasizing key words

In Lanartco's tip of the week February 18th, 2009, I underlined the importance of emphasizing certain words in our speech. Those words are called content words and they are the nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. It might sound like you'd be stressing every other word in your speech if this were the case. The rule goes one step further towards something we call "focus words." Yes, content words are stronger than structure words (prepositions, pronouns, auxiliary verbs, etc.), however, focus words are THE keywords in any phrase and they usually are content words. Maybe this sounds confusing, but if you listen to any public speaker, politician or entertainer, you will hear them use this technique. America's current president, Barack Obama, is a wonderful example of someone who knows how to use emphasis on key words. He does three very important things on those words: he makes the stressed syllable in that word longer, louder and higher in pitch. This is how we help our listeners turn their attention to our most important points. Think about stressing your focus words next time you are speaking in public. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

American English: An Embarrassing Moment

American English can be tricky. Ask anyone, native American English speaking or not, and they may have an anecdote to share. A client, originally from Japan, once told me that he could understand a French business person speaking English better than an American one. Strange? Not really; I think it makes perfect sense. When, as foreigners, we learn English as a second language, we are learning a 'standard' form of the language—one that is universally understood by millions of learners worldwide. It's no wonder that misunderstandings and communication issues arise when international professionals find themselves embedded in American culture. A recent embarrassing moment I can remember happened in graduate school. I was studying Linguistics where the word pedagogy often came up when speaking about teaching language strategies. I'd never had to utter the word out loud before and had no idea how to pronounce it. The unfortunate moment came when I had to read it out loud in class. As I read it, I knew it didn't sound right (did it? How could I know?). I quickly realized, from the reaction of my peers, that I was right; I had made a fool of myself in front of very smart people. I thought less of myself for the rest of the afternoon until I realized that there was absolutely no way I would've known that in the word pedagogy, the second /g/ is soft. Nowhere in our ESL books does a rule exist to show that what I was doing was wrong. And so, English to me, even 30 years later, remains a challenge every time I come across a new word. But now, all the wiser, whenever in doubt, I ask my dear friends - because if you do not, you will never know. Next time you find yourself across the table from a colleague whose birthplace is not America, ask them to tell you about an embarrassing English learning moment. I bet you they have one. And while you are at it, share one of your own.

Communication Skills Tip: Intonation for vocal strength

In Lanartco's tip of the week March 4th, 2009, I wrote about maximizing your communication effectiveness through intonation. Over the years so many people have been surprised when I told them that monotone is actually considered to be the use of four tones or less in your speech. They were also surprised when I told them that you need eight tones just to begin being effective vocally. I am a mezzo soprano--that means the range of the female singing voice lower than soprano and higher than alto. Or in layman terms it means I can sing high and low. I've always noticed, however, that when I go to sing high I don't always have enough confidence. I think the same is true for us as speakers. As women, especially, we may have been told that having a low, raspy voice is attractive or we think having a high voice is not strong. When I talk about using eight or more tones in your range to be an effective speaker, it doesn't mean to speak high or low all the time, but to have the ability to go both high and low as necessary. When do you need to use the higher tones? On key words. And when shoud you use the lower tones? When you are finishing a sentence and want others to know you are done speaking. One exercise that will help you increase your range is to use any vowel sound and start on the lowest pitch you can. Sing a scale by thinking of the sound a fire truck might make. Start low and carry the pitch as high as you can go, flip the sound over and come back down to the lowest pitch you can. And have fun doing it while you are at it. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Communication Skills Tip: Posture Enhances Presence

In Lanartco's tip of the week February 25th, 2009, I focused on the power of posture. Having good posture is all about having strong presence. I spoke a little bit about posture in Lanartco's Blogpost Communicaiton Skills Tip: Non-Verbal Communicaiton back in February. I simply want to add here that when you exude a strong posture you are saying: "I am here. I am present. I want to contribute. I have an idea. Etc." So as one of my yoga instructors says, "Sit well." And do that by moving away from the back of your chair, by keeping your hips balanced when standing and by using your abdominal muscles to keep youself straight. It does take practice, but you will be so pleased with the feedback you get. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Communication Skills TIp: Breathing that supports your voice

In Lanartco's tip of the week February 11th, 2009, I talked about the importance of breath support when you are speaking. It is so important to use your voice well to avoid tiring or straining it. Some of you may know about my background as an actor, but I am also a singer. From the time I was 13, I remember entering contests and working diligently as a singer daily. (I even was in the Junior Miss Connecticut Pageant when I was 17--not something I shine a light on too often, but...just to give you the extent to which I pursued a performance career.) As a singer, I always struggled with breath support. And if you are anything like me, perhaps you create more tension than relaxation when you focus on your breath. It is true that breathing properly will give your voice more volume and power. So, how to practice? I think it is important to keep the neck and upper back muscles relaxed. You can do that by making an imaginary figure eight with your head. This movement, if used in conjunction with breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, should encourage relaxation in your throat, neck and upper back. Once you've done that a couple of times, try putting your hands on your rib cage with your thumbs facing towards your back. Breathe in and out through your mouth on the sound "ah" (don't engage your vocal cords but just your breath) and feel your ribs expand into your hands. If you do these two exercises a couple of times a week, you will build your awareness and control over your breath. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

Communication Skills Tip: Non-Verbal Communication and all its virtues

In Lanartco's tip of the week Febrary 4th, 2009, I mentioned how non-verbal communication influences our messages more than the actual words we speak. I am sure many of you can understand how this could be true. So, what do I mean by non-verbal communication. Here are some simple concepts: posture, stance, hand gestures, facial expressions and appearance. Putting all of these elements together can take practice. I am a trained actor. I started performing when I was in camp at the young age of 6. I had many acting coaches and joined many performance groups where I developed my skills. I also attended a performing arts high school in New Haven, CT and I feel so fortunate for all the training I had because using non-verbal communication for me is second nature. The primary gift I have because of my background in theatre and performance is self awareness. So, when it comes to your non-verbal communication, you have to begin by being aware. The next time you are in a meeting check in with your posture: Are you sitting towards the front of your chair? Do you allow for the natural curvature of your spine by lifting your head and keeping two feet firmly on the floor? And the next time you are giving a formal presentation ask yourself about your stance and your appearance before you begin: Are your legs hip distance apart withyour shoulder blades gently pushed down your back? What about your dress? Are you neatly put together from head to toe including your accessories? How about the next time you are listening to one of your direct reports deliver bad news? Are your facial muscles relaxed to not give away your immediate emotions? Do you nod too much or too little? And finally, the next time you are participating in a meeting, think about your hand gestures: Are your hands on the table to allow them to contribute to your message? Pay close attention to your non-verbal communication because whether you are or you aren't, you can be sure that your audience is. And like Malcolm Gladwell writes in his book, Blink, we make impressions on others in the blink of an eye. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com