Communication Skills Tip: Programming yourself for success

I was working with a coaching client recently who was reinforcing the belief, "I can't and I don't know how." To that I say: so be it. Unless you really want to develop yourself. If you do, then consider my new expression, "What you subscribe to keeps coming in the mail." The question is what are you subscribing to? Are you signing up for belief, determination, passion and goal-setting? Or are you buying skepticism, failure, indifference and status quo? In Lanartco's tip of the week May 27th, 2009, I mentioned Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) which basically teaches that the messages we feed ourselves feed our subconscious which ultimately drive our actions. I was fortunate to have studied NLP more than 20 years ago, and since that time, I have been very alert to how I frame my thoughts so that they serve my best interest. Think about what you are telling yourself and keep negative words like no, not, can't, won't, don't, etc out of your vocabulary. When they creep in, make a game out of reframing the negative into the positive. If you subscribe to positive reinforcement, you may find yourself happily anticipating the mail. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Growing Up Bilingual

Last week I got to spend some much needed quality time with my niece. She just turned three. You should also know that she’s being raised bilingual. My family is from Argentina and my sister-in-law’s family is from Colombia. Needless to say, they are not only teaching my niece two different languages, one of those languages, Spanish, could be argued as being two different languages or dialects. My niece, at the age of three, has the capability of understanding and responding to three different dictions: American English, Argentine Spanish and Colombian Spanish. It is a marvel to watch. She knows exactly what language to use depending on who her audience is. If she does not remember a word in the language she started using, she will quickly and most often effortlessly, insert the same word in the other language. She switches languages but keeps the structure of the language she is using. Nobody taught her that- it’s simply the way language develops.

I wanted to share this story because I often hear from our clients how hard it is to learn a new language and how quickly they can become intimidated by their peers or instructors if they (the learner) feel like they are not pronouncing the words correctly or using the appropriate vocabulary. I’d like to say to all of you, who feel this way (I used to as well), to think about my niece next time you’re in front of your foreign language instructor or international colleagues. It is not the goal of the instructor or your colleagues to judge you but it is their job to help you. If you show them that you’re making the effort, chances are you will be rewarded. You do not have to pronounce words perfectly and you do not always have to have the correct word for every sentence you create. Making mistakes can only enhance your learning experience.

On a side note, if you’re parents and live in a bilingual household, please don’t fret, your child will do just fine.

Communication Skills Tip: Less is more

I was waiting for the automatic soap dispenser in the Philadelphia train station restroom the other day when the woman next to me commented how inefficient technologies like these can be. "Now we have to wait 10 minutes for our hands to dry under these hand-drying machines. What happened to good ol' paper towels?!" she laughed. Putting aside the green initiative, her comment struck a chord with me and it made me think of the efficiency of words. In Lanartco's tip of the week, May 20, 2009, I suggested that less is more and communicating well does not mean communicating more. In fact, you should be able to take a 30-minute message and pare it down to a three-minute overview and cut that down to a 30- second pitch. (We are always selling ides whether for business or otherwise.) Of course, we need to know our audience and the time allotted for our business communication, but always keep in mind the more focused your message, the more room you leave for dialogue. The more dialogue you establish, the more you know your listeners concerns and interests. Then, less will be more. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Communication Skills Tip: Focus

I have to say more on the subject of "focus" because since my last blog post I've realized that I was less than 100% dedicated to my writing task while I was researching and constructing my thoughts. Which makes me wonder how often I make time to go deeply into my knowledge or my creativity. If I carve time out of my day for learning and creating, certianly I will have greater fulfillment which will lead me to greater satisfaction with my activities, my life choices and the friends I keep. Maggie Jackson says in her Harvard Business blog article The Dangers of Distraction that we can practice going deeper by: being more mindful of what distracts us; making choices about what we allow to distract us; and setting time aside for creativity and knowledge. I've never liked skimming the surface of conversations, relationships or actiivites. I think its time to show up with a bigger committment to depth. What do you say?

Communication Skills Tip: Contributing to the Conversation

I was thinking that when you have something to say you have to ask yourself why you want to communicate. Are you looking for a reaction? Do you need to be heard? Or do you want to add value and make a contribution? I keep journals. I've done so my whole life. I've even kept them all. I was thinking that one day I could write a book and share my life experience in such a way that it would make people reflect on their own lives and ultimately make a difference. Then, as I got older, I thought, well maybe it is really my children who would benefit and enjoy my life-long writings. But, seeing as I don't have children, I am back to the question of why do I want to communicate? What do I have to say? And I don't have a concrete answer except to say that keeping my ideas to myself feels useless. If I can shed light on my experience and it helps someone in even the smallest of ways, then I have made a contribution to society. But, let's take this question to the workplace for a moment and specifically to business writing. When you have a message to share, you have to start by asking the most important question: What is the purpose of my communication? Specifically you can ask, "What is the objective of my writing? Who is my audience? What do they know on the subject? Why will they benefit from hearing my perspective?" The bottom line is: Are you sharing an original concept, solution or opinion? Or, are you adding relevant points to already established procedures? The main point is to dig deep enough to know what it is you have to contribute and then take the time to construct writing that makes a difference. And doing so, from begining to end. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Communication Skills Tip: Juggling Speaking & Listening Tools

For my first communication skills workshop back in 1996, I decided to open the two day off-site program by juggling tennis balls (each with a unique communication skills tool written on it.) I did this to demonstrate the challenge we face when striving to be eloquent, dynamic and effective in our communication. As a trained singer, I know that it is possible to multitask during a performance. In fact, it is essential. The term polyphony refers to "Music with two or more independent melodic parts sounded together." As a singer, I had to learn to interpret all the sounds and melodies happening simultaneously in the band while still delivering the often times different melody of the lyrics. This is precisely what happens during the speaking and listening cycle of communication. We hear a multitude of sounds and we must decipher amongst them in order to focus our attention on what is relevant. This is not always easy. I am sure many of you get easily distracted when there is too much background noise. However, by focusing on the higher pitched sounds from the speaker, we can determine what the key messages are in their words. Once it is our turn to speak, we must multitask again while talking and paying attention to the non-verbal cues we receive from our audience. If we cannot interpret the unspoken messages of our audience, we lose our opportunity to create a true dialogue. There are many tasks that we must tackle when engaged in interpersonal communication. How well we do depends greatly on how much we fine tune our instrument: our minds, our bodies and our voices. Put that on your tennis balls and juggle. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com

American English Varieties, Part III: Dixie English

On March 26th, I mentioned the term Dixie English and defined it as the variety of American English spoken in the Southern States. Did you know that it makes up the largest accent group in the US? I And that it is one of the most diverse varieties of American English? This is due to the rich history of the area which is also attributed to the shared similarities it has with African American English Vernacular. I I want to outline some of the most important characteristics of Dixie English today.

1. Dixie English is known for its non-rhotic feature or in lay terms, ones that we can all understand, they drop the final /r/ before a consonant or if the /r/ is at the end of a word as in ‘door’ (also known as a word boundary). So, if you live in New York, as I do, the words ‘guard’ and ‘God’ usually sound different. In the South, they would sound very similar.

2. Also, in Dixie English, the distinction between the word pairs horse/hoarse and for/four are preserved; the pairs sound different. This is not so in other parts of the United States where they are pronounced as homophones (words that sound alike but are different in spelling).

3. One other major difference between Dixie English and other varieties of American English is the wine/whine merger. For those of us outside of the Southern states region, the two words sound pretty much the same, so we have a merger of the two sounds /w/ and /ʍ/. In the south, the /w/ is pronounced differently in both words, where 'wine' is pronounced asa /wain/ and 'whine is pronounced as /ʍain/ with an initial /hw/ sound.

These are just a few of the characteristics found in the Dixie or South American English variety. Experts do say that with the younger generations some of these features are not as prevalent as they used to be. A good example of a Dixie speaker is Dolly Parton. And with that, I leave you with one of her many famous quotes: “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain”.

To listen to examples of the above phonetic phonemes /w/, /ʍ/ visit http://www.paulmeier.com/ipa/charts.html.

Bilingualism: Lost in translation? Or plain laziness?

I was riding the MTA on my way to an appointment. Like most of us on the subway, I was looking up at the advertisements and trying not to look directly into anyone’s eyes. I had forgotten my book and had no iPod to keep me entertained. It was then that I spotted the NYC Dept of Education posters advertising the many “so called” improvements to the system’s education for our youth. I applaud them for their effort to inform the public in both English and Spanish but I have to fail them on their translation. They were inconsistent at best. Although the messages were understood, to this native speaker, who suffered grueling spelling and dictation quizzes as a youth in South America to learn that omitting accent marks, can and does, in some cases, affect the meaning of a sentence, the missing accent marks on the translations, were enough to frustrate me all the way home. If we’re going to speak to the public in their language, shouldn’t we do it effectively and without undermining their education?

Communication Skills Tip: Melodic Phrasing for Powerful Presentations

When I was 13 I got serious about singing. I had a classical voice coach, Hilda Riggio based out of New Haven Connecticut, who started me out with the Bel Canto style of singing. These are typically classical Italian vocal exercises in the form of songs. The melodic phrases give purpose and direction to the otherwise monotonous warm up of the singer. When I spoke about thought chunking in Lanartco's tip of the week May 6, 2009, I asked you to consider thought chunking as creating a context and meaning for your messages. But it is so much more than that. It is the music in your presentation that ultimately keeps you and your listeners engaged. The first sign that you may be boring your audience with your speech, is if you are boring yourself with it. We can do that by continually using phrases of the same length. It is essential to mix up the grouping of words with some of them long and some of them short. Monotony is a repetition of a pattern. This can become a trance for your listeners and ultimately lead them to daydream rather than focus on your message. By varying the lengths of your chunks, you create the element of surprise and then keep your audience with you.

The next thing that becomes important in thought chunking is how well you use your breath. I remember when I would practice the Bel Canto songs, I often struggled with my breath support. If the phrases were too long, I had to either creatively adapt the phrasing so that I could add a breath, or I had to diligently build my control over my breath so that I could make it through the phrase. Great speakers such as Ronald Reagan, Oprah Winfrey and Tom Brokow are fine examples of people who know how to use thought chunking well. You can listen to these and other outstanding speakers at http://www.americanrhetoric.com/ You don't, however, need to be a public figure, professional singer or striving entertainer to take thought chunking to heart. The more you understand that communication is about connecting to others, the more you will practice thought chunking to build rapport and have meaningful dialogues. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com
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