Speak Up Young Man

Teenagers have it rough. They feel obligated to please their parents, their teachers, their friends, and they get caught up in the trends of the moment. It is easy for them to squeeze themselves into corners without realizing they are acting completely against their will. Here is the funny thing: I have to admit that there are still times when I feel like one of those teenagers. I think I'm communicating my needs. I suppose I'm clear about my opposing point of view. But like teenagers, I think there are clearly moments when I prefer to let things slide or put off my communication "for another time." Is easy always the way to go? Is feeling safe the way to fulfilling interpersonal relationships? I know that speaking my mind in a way that takes others into account remains important to me. But, I also recognize how important it is to gather up courage speak up. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Changing Leaves

Sometimes when I go through change I forget how long it can take. While sitting in the Awards Breakfast witnessing the accomplishments of my stellar female entrepreneurial peers at The Mandarin Hotel for The WPEO this morning, I realize how much I have been through in my business over the last twelve months. Change is a cycle. It has a beginning, when you recognize that something must be done. It has a middle, filled with emotions, decisions, confusion and action. And it eventually has an end that enables you to acknowledge what you've accomplished. I made it through a transition from having an office and full administrative staff to becoming the sole manager, bookkeeper, coordinator, coach and business owner of my company over recent months. There were things I wasn't prepared to take on; there were tasks I thought were below me; and there were aspects of the business I wasn't passionate about running. Often we have feelings of loss associated with change. I sure did. If only we could transition like the sycamore and maple trees. Green and full one day followed by the colorful and eventual fall of the leaves. Of course this allows for new growth and new beginnings in the spring. But as humans, do we really think about those things when we are in the midst of our lives? Personal development is all about change. It requires a certain level of communication and honesty, both with ourselves and those around us. But, change is good and eye opening and creative and freeing all at once and it leads us to unexpected opportunities and faces us with challenges we didn't know we could live up to. I recognize my nostalgia this morning as an important part of my development. And I feel fortunate that I dug in to the responsibilities my business presented. I am proud that I stayed focused on the old motto, "one day at a time," because I feel greatly fulfilled at this moment. And like the trees, I'm sporting some new leaves. Spring, at last, is here and don't it feel fine?! To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Gender Communication

While standing in Grand Central Station, I saw a young man run up behind a friend to surprise him in their greeting. Some people might shake hands, others might hug, and some, like this young male, may give a little shove from behind in a gesture of hello. Just minutes later, I saw a woman looking past me with a large smile for her approaching female friend who embraced her in their welcome. It got me thinking about how men and women can communicate very differently at times. If you watch girls and boys play this becomes very evident. We don't all have excess time, however, to research the nuances of male/female disparate communication styles, but we do have the intelligence to be observant and to adapt our behavior to meet others part way. I think this is beneficial for a couple of reasons: First, it makes people feel welcome which is important for successful interactions. And second, it lets us walk in others' shoes as a way to expand our way of thinking. For me, it was enough to simply witness the varying approach of the men and women in Grand Central to make me smile and think, "what a wonderful world!" To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

The Little Gestures: Communicating With Your Voice

Have you seen the United Way poster ads lately? "Live United." Or how about the Liberty Mutual television ads running? "Responsibility...what's your policy?" I don't know if I am just delighted that spring is around the corner, but the sentiment of these ads are hitting a chord with me. We know we can all try harder to connect. We know we have the capacity to give more, listen more, lend a helping hand. These are the small things that have always attracted me to working with people. Maybe I could make a difference and in turn help others make a difference. You remember that Faberge shampoo ad, "and so on and so on and so on." What is your passion? How can you help build a bridge between two people where maybe there was little hope. I know that the way we speak to one another has a large influence on how connected we can feel. Let your tone of voice communicate the attitude you believe will help move things forward. It's the little gestures we make that make a world of difference. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.

Communication as a Craft

I saw Julie and Julia over the weekend--you know the movie with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Amy Adams plays Julie Powell and author of both the book Julie and Julia and the blog The Julie/Julia Project. Julie Powell takes to Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking one day at a time for 354 days, 524 recipes and a sense of purpose. It got me thinking about how, in a movie, blogging seems so simple. The reality is that it is a commitment. But both commitment and purpose are two very important aspects of the work we set out to do in our lives. My work, being a communication skills coach, seems so precarious at times--at the will of those who may or may not fancy training and development, but also something that can be put off as long as possible because other, more important, projects arise. I've always put communication first. Certainly there are times that I may not say precisely what I want or I may speak in a tone that I later wish I hadn't used. But, I do believe that understanding the importance of articulating what we want, need and feel is at the heart of all good communication coaching. I've been thinking lately about communication as an art. As I was pursuing acting and singing growing up, there was some skepticism at times from my family about when I would take my life more seriously. It's funny, but I could not have been any more earnest than the years I was living in Los Angeles pursuing my acting. I was always attracted to the arts because they gave me an outlet to express myself. So, when I finally got more serious about my life, and started to pursue a career as a trainer, I realized that it is the communication aspect of the arts that I was always drawn to. As I move forward in my career, I'd like to continue to deepen my understanding of communication as a craft. By inspecting our failed communications, we can learn how we can better formulate our opinions, suggestions and ideas. I know that this takes commitment and a sense of purpose. I hope to hear your input on the subject. To be added to Lanartco's Communication Performance Tip of the Week, please connect to this link or send your email address to info@lanartco.com.